On Leading and yin-YANG

"Gentleness should cloak firmness; firmness should be modified by gentleness."
-Bruce Lee

The key to leading is in understanding the necessity for a balance. The taoist belief that yin, which is feminine and gentle, compliments YANG, which is masuline and firm can be used as an analogy for the balance needed to direct a relationship. When you are in a conversation with a woman it is your job to lead her to interesting topics and escalate. The same applies when its comes to setting up initial dates, to extracting and to going for a close. I found this works best when you provide direction, while being open to suggestion. Leading should come effortlessly, a powerful suggestion should appear cool and casual. 

Use a casual statement: 
"I'd like to carry on this conversation... Lets go have a coffee at Starbucks upstairs." 
Rather than asking:
"Are you free for 5 minutes? I'd like to carry on this conversation... Theres a Starbucks upstairs."

When it comes to setting up dates I realised that replacing "would you like to..." with "lets..." makes a difference. Similarly telling a girl who is hesitant "I'm gonna be busy this weekend... the only way we can meet is if we pin something down now." Use firmness (YANG) as the basis for escalation, but be cool and flexible (yin) if things dont happen as expected.

Principle Based Coaching

Quick Definition: The type of coaching that focuses on teaching the core principles of a paradigm, with a lesser focus on the exact execution of techniques.

         Principle based coaches focus on teaching the student the correct mental state and paradigm first. Only after the philosophy is understand is the technique then practiced. In reality, most coaching teach both a combination of principles and techniques in their coaching. However, some teachers lean more towards one spectrum than another.

         Zan, for example, is a principle based coach that focuses on a Casanova, enlightened sense of interacting with women. Mystery, on the other hand, is purely focused on technique and the mastery of the M3 model steps. He believes in using field tested lines and rehearsed lines that work. Zan and Juggler of Charisma Arts, on the other hand, are more focused on tapping into a person’s inner energy, and relaying that forward into the social interactions.

         With a proper understanding of principles, no student can become a master of the game. PUAs may argue that with the proper principle based coaching, a student can get good. However, no amount of technical or technique based coaching can get a person good unless they understand at least some of the principles of game.

How to Kill AA (Approach Anxiety)

One of the biggest challenges in game is getting over approach anxiety.We all feel it. A fear. An invisible wall that tells us, “it’s not right to talk to strangers”.

Today, I want to talk about how to kill AA. A technique that has worked wonders for me. Logically, I understand AA’s original function within a tribe, which has zero value for us today, for 99% of our social interactions. I also know that we are ultimately driven by our emotions, and not logic. Thus, I do a visualization technique.

I personify AA. I imagine I am one of my favorite characters in a movie, or a comic book, and AA is my arch-enemy. Like Batman and the Joker. AA is there. He’s there to stop me from fulfilling my deepest desires. And thus, I must slay him. Quickly, before he manifests into paralyzing fear.

They key to killing AA is to go for the kill shot. Do it quickly, because the irrational grows over time. If you've hit him with a shot, keep hitting it. Keep the momentum going. Keep approaching sets. Eventually, you’ll hit your stride in bullet time.

Just the act of opening alone can change your fate. I have seen newbies with no game open girls who just happened to like them. They wanted to talk to him, but as girls thought they were supposed to wait for the guy to approach.

Never discount the ability to love and make human connections. If you have do, use negative reinforcement to annihilate your AA. Kill him quickly, so that you can be happy and enjoy the rest of your night.

Back with openers!!

Here are 3 PUA openers you can use when approaching women in clubs or bars:

The fight opener.

This is a simple opener that was mentioned in “The Game” by Neil Strauss and can easily be applied in a busy club or bar. By the way, if you’ve not read the game it’s an excellent book about an AFC who becomes a PUA. You should definately read it. I’ve added a link below if you want to buy it from amazon. Anyway – back to the opener. Get close to the girl you want to talk to and ask her if she saw the fight that happened outside earlier. Of course there wasn’t a fight so she’ll reply with something like “No, what happened?” Depending on how vivid your imagination is you can say whatever you want providing you don’t make it obvious you’re talking absolute crap. A simple response would be “Some guy just started kicking off.. What an ass.. I’m Mick by the way..”

The cocky opener.

A cocky approach would be to say the following. “Hey, just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk to me you know?!…”

The guy with the big cojones opener.

OK to pull this off you need to be extremely confident and don’t start laughing and smiling like a tool. Walk straight up to her and say the following:

You: “Hey”

Her: “Hey”

You: “What are your plans later?”

Her: “I don’t know, why?”

You: “Do you want to come back to mine?”

Keep a straight face, look her straight in the eye and wait for her reaction.

Remember canned material shouldn’t be used in in excess. It’s more important to improve your conversation and be relaxed and natural when talking to women. If you’re not familiar with NLP or Neuro-linguistic Programming then I would highly recommend at least learning the basics.  Remember NLP is not directly related to becoming a PUA or getting more girls. 

Cheers!!! hv fun out there guys!!! will be bak soon

Success Story!!!

One of my close friend shared his success story with me. I am not here to help you but to take each one of you through a transformation. As the widely followed mystery method from being an AFC to a Playa.

Before

After

If he can do it, so can you. So go out and be the Playa. 

Chivalry is dead? Not yet!!

Chivalry began as the rules and customs of medieval knighthood, went on to mean chivalrous acts or gallant deeds. Today chivalry is dead as the good and gallant customs of men toward women has been lost or abandoned by men. Some guys blame women and the rise of the feminist culture for it, but I don't agree with any of them.

It doesn't take a Harvard MBA to open and close car doors. What it does take, however, are seemingly desirable qualities. Go out to any attraction location and the first thing you should do is be gentle and wear a warm smile. It can do much more then all the colognes you use. 

I'll be out there talking to you about the Venusians’ art and will be sharing interesting success stories of me and my close wing-men. When you open your mind, stop striving so hard, and leave yourself open to experience, you wind up finding something you never expected.

I’ll try and dig deep into our real world interaction with women and will try to explain the science and psychology that drives them. An assumption that people often make is that any pick-up technique that actually works well must be manipulative at some level. It’s amazing how many people, both male and female, believe this. In my experience, men believe this much more than women do. But whether or not a pick up technique is manipulative really boils down to the difference between manipulation and motivation. 

I’ll be back shortly with some insights on approach anxiety and openers (don’t want to bore you guys with theory) but they can’t be ignored. The paralysis of approach anxiety can feel like a disease, as if you have a mental illness for experiencing it. Just to give a prelude let me tell you that being anxious is good for you.

Think, believe, act and stay anxious. You will definitely enjoy the ride and I’ll be along sharing your successes.